The finest political sarcasm in town... 100 and counting
We have been accused of being mean spirited and they say that my readers/ contributors don't realize that this blog is muckracking and stupidity at its best. So for all of you who don't realize that I want you to write John Does blog is muckracking and stupidity at its best 100 times. (but not in the comments section I know you guys)
Mean spirited? C'mon honey get with the times. Comedy has been mean spirited since the days of Lenny Bruce. And even then before Lenny Bruce it was mean spirited, it was just corny in it's mean spirited-ness.
Music has demanded an apology from me, I say to here it was a joke get a sense of humor, it's not like I actually accused her of a crime like Donna accused me of.
Mean spirited...
Please comedy isn't mean spirited. Jokes like how did Helen Kellers parents punish here? They moved the furniture . Are so friendly and nice
Mean spirited? C'mon honey get with the times. Comedy has been mean spirited since the days of Lenny Bruce. And even then before Lenny Bruce it was mean spirited, it was just corny in it's mean spirited-ness.
Music has demanded an apology from me, I say to here it was a joke get a sense of humor, it's not like I actually accused her of a crime like Donna accused me of.
Mean spirited...
Please comedy isn't mean spirited. Jokes like how did Helen Kellers parents punish here? They moved the furniture . Are so friendly and nice
posted by John Doe at 8:44 AM
45 Comments:
Oh Lordy! I think we should ignore her bleatings. She cries a river that we are mean to her and then procees to be mean to other people. And, she wasn't very good at it which makes it all the more irritating--please, I want to laugh!
My mama told me that the first rule of a duel of the minds is being able to take it if you dish it out. Obviously, MN not only can't take it, she can't even dish it very well.
Thank you Sweaty Pickle for providing the peasants of Overland with fireworks, Bomb Pops, chairs, electricity, and holiday decorations, water, food, shelter, Santa, the Moon, amino acids and of course, our old friend the Sun.
I also want to thank you for bringing your public service to my attention. What is a gesture of good-will worth without someone to notice? Imagine the amount of praise you would have missed over the years without keeping the residents of Overland aware of your blessings.
Anyone like to join me in erecting a statue of Sweaty and her Old Dude down at Woodson Road Park in comemoration of their tireless service to Overland's rich cultural heritage?
I would do something in bronze of Sweaty's Old Dude climbing telephone pole, lineman's pliers sticking from pocket. Sweaty would be holding the telephone pole steady in an homage to Iwo Jima memorial in DC. Piles of fireworks lay around in with concession stand in background.
The statue would have the title in gold letters adorning its base. The statue will come to be known by yound and old alike by five simple words: "The Show Must Go On"
Love it, Gravy!
Am I the only one who thinks that the Queen has disenfranchised, disenchanted and generally disrespected most of Overland that she has to go to non-residents for any help?
Instead of a bronze statue, perhaps aluminum--recycled from all the soda she had provided to us peasants.
Nice work Overland Sailor.
You have packed quite a bit of information on your new site without much clutter to get in the way. I commend you.
Thanks for your efforts.
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Update from the meeting:
The idea of a "purchasing agent" was scrapped. In its place the cc will hire a parliamentarian. Rumor has it that my neighbor, Bob is up for the job. Feel free to look him up. Full name: Robert Ruleof-Order.
You know what is a really poor method to express the intensity of your thoughts and feelings when posting; capitalizing every word in a long rambling paragraph. The English language's tradition has been to use capital letters exclusively at the begining of sentences, proper nouns, etc...
Not only is an essay written in the tradition style more asthetically pleasing, it is also legible. Feel free to use this post as a model or template for the practice.
I am rarely certain if the writer is really pissed-off or has neglected his shift-lock key. Is he turning or has he left his directional signal on? Always tricky.
Mayor's Meeting Cheat Sheet
Quorum
Definition: the minimal number of members of an organization to conduct business
Ordinance: Section 110.170 Six (6) Councilmen shall constitute a quorum for the transaction of business
Majority
Definition: more than half of the votes
Ordinance: Section 110.260 No ordinance shall be passed except by bill, and no bill shall become an ordinance unless on its final passage a majority of the members elected to the City Council shall vote for it, and the "ayes" and "nays" be entered on the journal. (Code 1961 §2-29; CC 1976 §2-121)
Robert’s Rules: The word "majority" in this context means, simply, more than half. The use of any other definition, such as 50 percent plus one, is apt to cause problems. Suppose in voting on a motion 17 votes are cast, 9 in favor and 8 opposed. Fifty percent of the votes cast is 8=, so that 50 percent plus one would be 9=. Under such an erroneous definition of a majority, one might say that the motion was not adopted because it did not receive fifty percent plus one of the votes cast, although it was, quite clearly, passed by a majority vote. [RONR (10th ed.), p. 387; see also p. 66 of RONR In Brief.]
Note to self: Disregard the above if it doesn’t meet my wishes. Throw out a “five votes to pass an ordinance” line. Maybe the other council members, like me, haven’t read the ordinances.
Votes
Definition: express one's preference for a measure or resolution; cast a vote
Robert’s Rules of Order: A Main or Principal Motion is a motion made to bring before the assembly, for its consideration, any particular subject. It takes precedence of nothing -- that is, it cannot be made when any other question is before the assembly; and it yields to all Privileged, Incidental, and Subsidiary Motions -- that is, any of these motions can be made while a main motion is pending. Main motions are debatable, and subject to amendment …. As a general rule, they require for their adoption only a majority vote -- that is, a majority of the votes cast.
If the question is undebatable, the chair, immediately after stating the question, puts it to vote as described under Putting the Question, only allowing time for members to rise if they wish to make a motion of higher rank.
Privacy Matters
Definitions:
Privacy: the condition of being concealed or hidden
Personnel: body of persons usually employed (as in a factory, office, or organization)
Ordinance: SECTION 140.020: MEETINGS, RECORDS AND VOTES TO BE PUBLIC – EXCEPTIONS
Hiring, firing, disciplining or promoting of particular employees by a public governmental body when personal information about the employee is discussed or recorded. However, any vote on a final decision, when taken by a public governmental body, to hire, fire, promote or discipline an employee of a public governmental body shall be made available with a record of how each member voted to the public within seventy-two (72) hours of the close of the meeting where such action occurs; provided however, that any employee so affected shall be entitled to prompt notice of such decision during the seventy-two (72) hour period before such decision is made available to the public. As used herein, the term "personal information" means information relating to the performance or merit of individual employees.
Note to self: Privacy of personnel records is to protect the employee. If the employee waives this right, by directly addressing the council on their own accord and on their own behalf, such “privacy” is moot point.
If none of the above work in your favor, use the “I’m the mayor” phrase. It is an excuse to do anything you want. It is good to disregard votes, parliamentary procedure, city or state law…
Thanks for the KMOV link Edgar
"I don't even like you, why would I talk about you."
Hilarious.
Thanks for the definition of Quorum Suzy.
The Mayor will pull this quorum bull for the next six months upon which time a new alderman will be elected to oppose the ORT madness. A quorum and super majority will then exist against the Great Con and she will get nothing.
My only sadness in watching these events is that it shows the Mayor to be woefully ineffective at thinking strategically on politics. If she had any guidance or sophistication, she could accomplish parts of her agenda now.
She is no Joe Cannon, I'll tell you that much.
Lame duck is the appropriate term for Mayor Con but I think just plain "lame" will suffice.
For those that missed the CC meeting last night, the infamous budget message is posted on the Queen's site.
http://annpurzner.com/Welcome/welcome.html
I take offense at the insinuation that we can lower wages because there are folks out there willing to take the job at the lower rate.
Well, I guess there isn't too many jobs out there in the world where you can't find someone willing to do it for less. Such actions are what I call the "Wal-Martization of America" that causes downward pressure on salaries. Who is to say they didn't cherry pick which city information they quoted. Above that, our city government should not be promoting such wage deflation measures.
Infector, Goat and Company new motto: taking disingenous to new heights.
“And the necessary monies to repair the gymnasium floor that was damaged by a non-sanctioned meeting of four board members”
How perfectly ORTIAN of you . Mr. Knode you are simply a wretch of a human.
$25,000.00 freaking dollars for a feasibility study on re-opening pool! What a hoot! Does Knode need an olympic size pool for his daily aqua-jazzer-size class?
Mr. Knode has more than likely fomed joint-venture with Mark Brown, or Tu Wong, or whoever he is hiding behind these days, to form engineering firm specializing in swimming pool feasibility studies.
Nobody in their right mind is going to use the former American Legion pool. The nineteen sixties and seventies were nice with the high dives and all that. We all know the insurance industry killed any fun being had at public pools.
Sure, we all have some idealism and personal mythology surrounding those by gone lazy summer days. Remember sending your children, to the Legion Pool for the day. It was like having a baby sitter. Whatever the age, the locker rooms and pool were surrounded by a fence to keep the kiddies from getting away.
I am sure any feasibility study would include an exhausted study of children and their use patterns. Someone would have to hang out at other pools to collect enough observations on un-supervised children.
Uh oh, a horrid association has entered my thoughts, like an omen that wreaks with the funk only an ORT Cloud can provide.
To operate a pool, the City would need to contract out for additional insurance coverage; with all the happy children around, and all
I've done the math enough to know the dangers of our second guessing. Here is a stylized version of the formal model.
Knode + Brown + Feasibility Study + more insurance + that pedophile insurance dude they hang out with = Big Trouble!
Which starts with T and rhymes with P which stands for pool!
In closing, I have come to the conclusion that our elected public officials in Overland should not recieve the amount of compensation for their public service that is currently afforded. Especially when considering that Overland representatives recieve double and triple the average amount paid by surrounding communities.
Without a doubt, reducing or elimating the current compensation package will lead to a class of more qualified and accomplished representatives. Citizens that do not need the money. Citizens that do not solely depend on their Alderman's salary for subsistance.
Allowing our elected reps to use their compensation as a supplement to social security and other professional failings will continue to attracts the Knodes, Blowensme and Sellers aka The Cowardly Lion.
Peace to my comrads. The struggle will be long and sacrifices will be made. The light of reason is obscured behind a ORT Cloud at moment, but we will have our day.
Lackland Liberation Front has spoken.
"Ok, I have trouble seeing anything wrong with the budget." The Amuzing Goat.
Nothing to add here. Stands-up all by itself. A classic!
Cowardly Lion?! Probably the best nickname yet.
Gravy,
I dig the "Lackland Liberation Front"....LLF......most excellent!!
Pour some Gravy on me, or is that Sugar....these are confusing times.
"I am unfamiliar with the budget...."
The Amuzing Goat.
What a difference a day makes. (See Above) The hits keep coming. One classic after another from the Goat.
Anyone have a copy of Sweaty Pickle's cirriculum vitae? Amuzing Goat has her as lead candidate for Purchasing Agent position. If we could get some visibility into her professional experience as a Municipal Purchasing Agent, I would be willing to support the hiring.
Hopefully, Sweaty Pickle will not follow the precedent set by the Mayor in regard to professional work experience. A little embelishing is tolerated, but fraudulent claims of academic and professional accomplishments would not be looked upon favorably.
Could you also tell us the other Purchasing Agent positions you are currently interviewing for with other Municipalities? If the Overland Position is not made available, will you pursue other Purchasing Agent opportunities outside the St. Louis area?
A CV? Surely you jest. I don't think she even plans to update a resume for this.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Twenty-three posts since July 11, yet I am obsessed by simply pointing out one of your inconsistency?
Woop Woop Woop Wooping Crane!
Congrats on the "Whooping Crane" comment. I see my tutilage has not gone to waste on you.
I don't worry about SuzyJ for the simple reason that she doesn't write contradictory and poorly reasoned ideas.
As far as me being "smarter than all of us(you)", I am really glad you picked up on that fact as well. Although I never ran a concession stand at a dirt race track or fabricated my credentials, but clearly most learned people see the quality.
You are progressing nicely Goat but have yet to write anything entertaining so to speak.
Make that 31 posts. Afternoon returns coming in.
Whether to vote and who one votes for has no bearing on an individual's status as a citizen and the civil right to participate in unannounced Budget Sub-Committee meetings at the Manderin House as well as the civil liberty to say whatever they want to while at the meeting.
41
49
Watching the Mayor being totally overwhelmed by the most basic responsibilities of her office.
After watching these meetings, anyone believing that Anne Purzner posseses sufficient faculties to be Mayor is testing the bounds of reason and rationality.
I might as well announce the formation of a Draft the Goat Election committee. Amuzing Goat has teased us with her candidacy for some time. I say lets get behind the Goat wagaon.
Please take note!
Vote Amuzing Goat!
Vote Amuzing Goat!
Ken Blowensme!
I demand satisfaction!
We'll call a recess.
Oh my God that is hilarious. She is so clueless. Come on Ortians, you can't watch her and be happy with her service.
"she can have a recess any time she wants to" Knode.
My stomache hurts, he is just an unqualified ass of a human. Sorry about that Overland Sailor, but I couldn't help it.
"In other countries they call that a coup Mr. May." Knode
I guess that other country may be uhhhhh France perhaps Mr. Knode.
Idiot.
A coup usually does not happen through the enforcement of rules.
You are about as politically sophisticated as a monkey Knode. You ought to do stand-up with that impression of a drunken Cotton Hill.
That Branch fellow must be one broke-ass grifter to ask for a pay check as compensation for sitting in a room by himself.
Corrupt.
Does Knode drink by himself before the meetings or is there a paticular watering hole he gets mollered-up in on Mondays?
Anyone?
"You guys are big on State Statutes aren't you. You are really pushing the State Statutes." Knode.
Idiot.
According to city website:
Special Council Meeting on Monday.
At City Hall.
(Will she ever learn?)
On the agenda (link from website) is a Ward 3 appointment. Any idea who the queen will annoint?
Suzyjax,
Annoint is about right. This could be scary.
Sorry, its been a while. I have been checking on a few of my other communities. A dead former State Rep still has to keep the voters happy.
The posting is great. I am, however, worried about John Doe. We are getting less than one new post a week and I am wondering, given John Does imminent departure to Kimmswick, whether maybe John could turn over the editing responsibilites. I am nominating Gravy, (roll patriotic background music) leader in spirit of the Lackland Liberation Front. From the tall sycamores in the East, the Wild Acres on the West, the Fast food restaurants and gas stations on the South and ..... uh.... Breckenridge on the North, Gravy is the common thread that runs through each of us like the Lackland Road beautification project runs through our humble hamlet.
Do it because you care.
Lucky, can I second your nomination?
Guy,you obviously have not been to the "Ann Purzner School of Parliamentary Procedure." You know, just because there is a motion, which has been seconded, on the floor doesn't mean we have to vote. And then when we do vote, we don't have to necessarily go with that action.
Suzyjax,
Can I have that reduced to writing?
Oh, crap my wig just flipped!!!!
Awe shucks..you guys are too good to me. I am not worthy of such high praise from such a group of esteemed writers.
I say to my fellow citizens, comrades and advisaries on this summer's day, the 14th of June, in the year of our lord 2006; with humble heart, clear conscience and honorable intent;
If drafted I will serve.
"The life of the nation is secure only while the nation is honest, truthful and virtuous."-Frederick Douglas
Isn't Reduced to Writing a Mariah Carey song?
LOL Suzyjax, and all this time I thought it was a Michael Jackson song.
Gravy joined the Overland Front,
He always was a little runt,
and now he has got his hand in the air with the other........
Woops. That was a close one.
The Lackland Liberation Front (LLF) will not be supporting the Vote Goat campaign as we have recently learned of her ties to various Comminterm over the years.
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